When Draco met Pansy
by emily.down
Summary: A little story about how Pansy became Draco's girlfriend. Hope you like it. R&R.


In his Third Year, Draco was getting a bit fed up with all the girls around him. They were all fawning over him, trying to caress his hair, his face, calling him a Slytherin prince and wishing that the cold, smarmy, ridiculously rich boy would whisk them off to his castle.

It was all rather idiotic. He didn't even have a castle to begin with.

'It's a mansion! It's not a castle. Castles are gay,' he was saying to Marcus Flint.

'It means the same to women, whether it's a mansion or a castle,' he replied. 'Have you never read that article in Teen Witch?'

Draco looked at him warily.

'No, I haven't. Have you?'

'No way man, I was just...making small talk,' Flint replied, looking away.

'That's it! I am so getting rid of all of them! And I think I know how.'

'Oh, really?'

'Yes. Wait for it…wait for it… I will dye my hair.'

'Dye your hair…?'

'Yes. I'll make it brown. No one's remotely interested in that colour. Or at least I think so.'

'You know the girls are not going to care. You would still treat them like ass and have loads of money. Girls are into that.'

'Okay…then I'll start acting like a Weasley, all desperate and full of life. I'll even make fart jokes. How's that?'

'Your dad would kill you...twice.'

'Eh, I've been through worse. I have to find something though. Else I'll go insane.'

'Then just get a girlfriend, already!' Flint told him.

'Have you heard a single word I've been saying?'

'Yes nimrod and if you want to be left alone, simply commit to someone. Girls will instantly find you unattractive. It's true. Once you start going out with someone seriously, they'll give up on you because you won't be an angsty, self-deprecating, lonely bastards anymore.'

'Hmm…it sort of makes sense.'

'Of course it does.'

'But who to pick to be my girlfriend? They'll all jump on me!'

'Hmm…good point you made there,' Flint said, rubbing his chin pensively. 'Well, we need to find a girl that doesn't like you very much.'

'Impossible. Even McGonagall seems to fancy me. She always gives me the wink when she catches me after curfew on the corridors.'

'Well then…we need to find someone like you. Someone just as selfish, egotistical, silly, conceited and attractive as you are. Someone who will like herself more than she likes you.'

'But where can we find such a girl?'

They both looked around the common room for possible candidates.

'Aha! Found her!' Flint exclaimed after about two seconds.

'Flint, that's a broomstick…' Draco said rolling his eyes.

'No, man, take a better look. It's just Pansy Parkinson. But she's anorexic and eats air. So that's why you saw a broomstick.'

'Oh, yeah, makes sense. Well, call her over.'

'Hey Pansy!' Flint yelled.

'What?' she yelled from the other corner of the room. 'I am posing for my invisible worshipers, do not disturb me!'

'Told you she's perfect,' Flint said, smirking mischievously.

'I don't know yet…she might be bluffing,' Draco said unsure.

'Hey, Pansy,' Draco said going over to her to convince himself, 'do you like me?'

'Sure I do! You have a castle!'

_Oh brother...must control myself_. 'So...how much do you fancy me?'

'A lot! But would you mind moving to the left? You're totally blocking the view for my invisible followers.'

'Okay, okay, one last thing, if I say I am prettier than you…what do you say?'

There was a heavy pause after that.

Pansy stared at him in sheer horror. Her upper lip started trembling. Yes, not the other lip. The upper. This was bad...

'Boys, get him!' she yelled furiously, pointing her long red nails at him.

Draco looked around slightly surprised.

'What are you talking about?'

'My invisible worshipers are totally attacking you right now! Do you feel the pain?'

'I don't feel anything…'

She smirked devilishly.

'Of course you don't. They've already reached your brain!'

Draco sighed and shook his head.

'Yep, she's almost_ too_ perfect...'

And that is how Draco and Pansy's passionate love story began.

* * *

_Laughter makes the world go round..um, well, when it's actually funny. So er review and comment if you actually chuckled:)  
_


End file.
